I can remember it like it was yesterday: I was sitting in my parents living room watching a VHS of Wrestlemania VII that I had just rented and was incredibly excited to watch. It was 1991, the height of the resurgence of professional wrestling in America, and I had just jumped on board. As a nine year old kid, I immediately had an affinity to it: the classic good guys vs bad guys, the action, the music, the excitement, the spectacle, everything. To my parents chagrin possibly, I remember begging and pleading, probably vowing to do extra chores around the house if they would spend the $24.95 on my first PPV, in this case Summerslam 1991, and they finally gave in. After it was over, I remember thinking, "that was the coolest thing in the world!" I was hooked.

It wasn't until a few months after that when I finally watched Wrestlemania with my family, totally into it. Them it was time forthe main event, which was Hulk Hogan vs Sgt Slaughter, the ultimate good guy American vs. the bad guy Iraqi sympathizer, during the height of Desert Storm. The match was going along, when all of a sudden, something happened. Slaughter went to the outside, got a steel folding chair, and proceeded to hit Hogan in the head with it, causing him to bleed profusely. I instantly got upset, and cried to my step father, "Did you see that??? He cant do that??? He's really hurt!!!" He saw how upset I was, then took the remote and rewound the tape to just seconds before and explained, "Look, he's taking a blood capsule out of his trunks... He's not really bleeding. This isn't real." I didn't believe him and argued with him saying it was real and he really was hurt and I stormed off to my room, thinking that he was wrong. While I eventually realized that the fighting was fake, and storylines were written like a script for actors, its a lot more real than I ever could imagine.


Fast forward to present day, almost 20 years later, and I'm still a wrestling fan. Unfortunately, its something that is almost taboo with me, I don't announce that I am, I'm almost embarrassed that I still like it. I have a monster wrestling DVD collection that I jokingly say is worse than a porn collection, and I laugh because that really may be true. But something these last couple years has really disturbed me about wrestling... There has been a shocking number of guys dying under the age of 40 (close to 70 since 1995), especially this past decade culminating with the unheard of double murder suicide involving Chris Benoit in 2007. While this tragedy got the most national attention, it seems like there are at least 3 or 4 stories per year of another wrestler passing away because of something. That's unheard of anywhere else: just think if 3 movie stars in their primes passed away, or 3 people from the NBA passing away EVERY YEAR!!! It would be the #1 thing on SportsCenter, it would lead CNN, Senate hearings would be in place, but unfortunately since professional wrestling isn't technically "real" it doesn't get that kind of attention. It's unfortunate that this is becoming so common place in our society that people aren't surprised when something like this happens to a wrestler or maybe, quite frankly, nobody cares. Something that isn't "real" doesn't garner that attention I guess.

Now when a tragedy like the passing of Lance Cade comes to everyone's attention, like it did today, we look for answers to why this happens... How does a healthy, athletic 29 year old man die from heart failure? Some research divulges that the majority of these deaths are all the result of heart failure. Men in their 30's and 40's. (this case late 20's) The trend is frightening.

Is it steroids? Prescription pills? The lifestyle? The physicality? The constant work schedule? Personal vices? The answer is different with the diverse vastness of the people, and its a wicked circle. I don't have the answer. I'm at a loss. It's no longer ironic., there have been too many victims. The WWE is a billion dollar company, have revolutionized PPV (UFC wouldn't be as big as it is without WWE), have the longest running and most watched cable show on today, yet these tragedies do nothing to curtail its popularity. Through recent moves from the company in the past couple years, they have implemented strong drug testing policies for the talent and even pay for rehab for current and past wrestlers if they need it, good steps, but is it enough?

Regardless, my love of wrestling has withered away in recent months. I'm tired of trying to defend it. Wrestlemania was here in March, and really what is there left? Its crossed off my Bucket List. I've sat ringside for TV, my wrestling DVD's are on Craigslist, its time to move on. The main reason why I have always enjoyed wrestling is because I appreciated the unreal qualities of it all: the cheesy acting, the scripted matches, the predictable outcomes. But the reasons why I loved it as a kid now is the reason I pull away. The blood is real now.